


experimentation

by skm_creations



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M, Gen, With my whole heart, also i love steinmarie, marie isnt really in it but shes mentioned heavily thruout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skm_creations/pseuds/skm_creations
Summary: "what sort of Madness was this? it was a different kind, one that he hadn't felt before. maybe that was the doing of the kishin. ever since the kishin had been released, he could feel himself slipping, slipping, slipping further and further into this new world that the witches and their allies had wanted all along."





	experimentation

**Author's Note:**

> hey everybody ! this fic is sort of my take on the later eps of soul eater when stein is contemplating going to medusa's or going back home to marie to when marie pulls him out of the madness. and it is all in lowercase on purpose ! i hope you enjoy!

when was the last time he had gotten a decent night’s sleep? it felt like every day went by so slowly that it was painful, like there was nothing exciting going on, except for his descent. did he miss the rush of being a young meister like his students, or did he miss the sick things he had done to spirit? of course, he had always struggled with his Madness, but it hadn’t affected him since he was much younger, much younger. the older he got, the more he became in control of it. he supposed that spirit and marie’s involvement and un-involvement in his life had contributed to that. but now, as he wandered through the seemingly endless world, too much rushing through his head all at once, he could feel the Madness beginning to overtake him. he knew that this was what the witch wanted, that she was using him to fulfill hers and the kishin’s own agendas, but he couldn’t help but feel it overtaking him.

he hallucinated as he moved through the Madness, not sure what he was searching for. was he looking to go back home to marie or did he, deep down, want to join medusa and let this Madness consume him completely? there wasn’t any way to know, at the moment. the fog was affecting his thinking, and he felt like he couldn’t escape these painful feelings, torn between doing the right thing and indulging into these urges that he couldn’t help but have, the urges he had had for his whole life. 

what sort of Madness was this? it was a different kind, one that he hadn’t felt before. maybe that was the doing of the kishin. ever since the kishin had been released, he could feel himself slipping, slipping, slipping further and further into this new world that the witches and their allies had wanted all along. it was far different than anything he had experienced as a child, when he wasn’t sure how to sort out his feelings. how could he, anyway? he had taken his feelings out on spirit in secret, until he had figured out his place in this cruel world that didn’t take kindly to men with conflicting morals such as himself. he learned quickly that no one would be on the side of a man like him. especially not spirit. 

when was it that it stopped affecting him like it was now, again? it was like he couldn’t pin an exact date. he supposed it was the day spirit left him for another meister, one that he would come to marry. after that, he had the assumption that he would be alone forever. was that truly the only reason he became good? so that he could feel the warmth of someone caring for him again? although, he supposed it didn’t matter anymore, as he kept descending further into this Madness that had been unleashed on the world. there was no way spirit would come after him now. 

the fog surrounding him seemed to just get thicker and thicker as he walked, and he was starting to be unable to see the path ahead of him. where was he going? what was his end goal? this wasn’t something that he knew for certain, but he continued to tread on, despite it. he felt like he was walking through concrete, like no matter what path he chose, one part of him would resist it and try and bring him to the other side. it was exhausting.

he supposed that the only thing keeping him from going completely mad was the thought of marie. she was still waiting for him at home, after all. what would she do if he were to completely disappear? maybe it was time to head back. maybe this delve was dying down and he was beginning to come out of this again. yet he still couldn’t find his way back. his mind thought one thing, but his body did another, as if he wasn’t truly in control of his movements. 

the hallucinations only got worse and worse. he saw horrors that he couldn’t seem to comprehend. ones that made him realize his true feelings for people like marie, that made him think it was all too late to realize this now. he thought that he had lost her. he supposed that she was the only thing that was keeping him sane in this world filled with Madness. and now… now she was gone, too. everyone left. maybe he truly was incapable of receiving and giving love. maybe he had been right all along. 

and that was that. he accepted his fate. there was no point in fighting it now. he thought that she was gone. how could he survive now? she was the only one that had kept him sane, and he had took marie for granted. he wasn’t aware that this was all a hallucination, created to suck him further into this hell. and it had worked. he succumbed to this unrelentless world of Madness.

how easy had it been for this to happen? did he not realize how far gone he had been before all of this? he supposed not. but this wasn’t anything that was in his mind, now. nothing was on his mind. only his sick desires, as he found his way to medusa’s. yes... this was how it was always going to end, was it? he had been cursed with this Madness since day one. there was no escape. there never was.

at least, this was what he had thought. his memory had gone blank. or, at least, his feelings attached to all of his memories had been wiped out, only to remain as a miniscule faction in his brain, that his true self was locked in, listening to the busted record player, that was threatening to turn that part, too. his hands were clamped over his ears to keep the sound blocked out, but the more he tried to block it out, the louder it seemed to get. he could hear someone calling out to him, but he couldn’t stand to try and focus on it. it was all too much, all too fast. the sound got louder and louder and he kept falling deeper and deeper the longer he stayed there, the Madness threatening to take over every part of him, to-

silence. there was suddenly silence. what was this? 

he took his hands away from his ears, eyes opening, confused, but not complaining by any means. he heard her voice. the voice of the person he cared about most. she was here. she was alive. he looked at this woman for what felt like a long moment, though it was barely a second, as she wrapped her arms around him. the tighter she clutched onto him, the lighter the fog became. the lighter he became.

was this freedom? freedom from the Madness?  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“yes.”


End file.
